


Life gone by

by Shadowsof_thenight



Series: Fictober [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Goodbyes, Heartbreak, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 00:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowsof_thenight/pseuds/Shadowsof_thenight
Summary: When life inevitably changes, sometimes it is enough to break your heart and crush your soulPrompt number: 4 ‘I know you didn’t ask for this.’





	Life gone by

Sitting on the windowsill in the the oriel window of first floor their bedroom, she stared out into the distance, hardly seeing anything of the magnificent view that this seat offered. It had always been her favourite spot in the house. The place where she would read books on rainy days, or stare at a beautiful summer storm. A spot where she would sit those lazy Sunday mornings, waiting for him to open his eyes. It felt safe, comfortable and warm. She loved it here. 

Correction; she used to love it here. 

Behind her the closet door fell closed with a finality that shook her to the core, even though she tried her best to ignore it. To ignore the pang it had caused in her heart or the resulting shaking of her hands. This was not how she imagined her life to go. It wasn’t what she wanted, ever, and it was so hard to accept the reality of her current situation. That was why she kept staring out the window, unseeing, while her mind kept racing through memories too fast for her to grab onto any one of them. 

He moved almost unapologetically behind her, not stopping, not taking the time to take it all in. She knew he couldn’t, but that did not ease the pain one bit. No matter how good the reasons were, the end result was still the same. And it was that end that broke her heart into a million little pieces. Too many to put back together, she feared.  
“I’m sorry,” his whispered words sounded far away, as if he was gone already, and a tear slipped from the corner of her eye. 

Turning to face him, almost in slow-motion, she tried offering up a brave face. She failed miserably, as did he and they knew there was no blame to be shared here. He understood her feelings as she understood his. Both of them wishing it could have been different, wishing something could change their current predicament, but knowing that it would not. 

**“I know you didn’t ask for this,” **his bottom lip quivered and he quickly looked down at his hands, as they were struggling with the zipper of his duffel-bag. 

“Neither did you,” her voice bare audible as she stood from her seat and walked closer to him. 

She forced her body to move, her legs to work, though she’d much rather remained in her seat. She couldn’t, he deserved more. And she was determined to give him all that he deserved and more. At least as much as she could, as far as her abilities stretched. She could not offer up a smile, even if he deserved a happier goodbye. Though she was certain that he understood. 

Moving closer to him, she took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and he extended his hand to her. Taking it gently in her own, he grasped it tightly, abandoning all pretence. With a small tug he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. She returned the hug, splaying her hands on his broad back, trying not to smear her tears on his unblemished shirt. 

Laying her ear to his heart, she could hear the steady beating of it and it quickly calmed her down.  
She wondered what would aid her so well from now on. Who would ease her fears, push back her demons and kiss the tracks off her tears and bring a smile to her face? Who would make her heart beat erratically with desire, or make her quiver with release? 

“I love you,” he breathed out, his voice soft, as if speaking loudly would break through their bubble and end this moment. 

She turned her face to glance up and meet his gaze. Tears were glistening in his eyes and she reached up to place a chaste kiss on his plumb ink lips. He sighed and leaned into it, turning his head slightly to deepen the kiss and he pressed her body tighter against his own. He wasn’t ready to leave her. Though he probably never would be. 

The doorbell rang then, ending the kiss and they both knew their time was finally up. He really had to go and they would have to say their goodbyes, uncertain of when they would ever see each other again. If they even would meet again. 

One last look, a silent promise to keep their memories close and to never forget, before they nodded and stepped back. He was the first to move after that, grabbing his heavy bag and throwing it over his shoulder, while she opened the bedroom door and allowed him through it first. She followed him down the stairs, grasping at his free hand with a desperation that betrayed her anxiety and all he could do was squeeze it gently. There were no words to say that would make this better. 

By the front door they were greeted by the glum face of his fellow private and she stepped outside to hug him close, a silent confirmation that this was hard on all. She asked them both to be safe, to promise her and though they all knew it was an empty commitment, she needed the words to be said. 

“I love you so so much,” she finally choked out, her voice failing as tears streamed down her face one more. Hugging the love of her life tightly, she wished she never had to let him go. He returned the sentiments and kissed her deeply one more time, before he truly had to go. 

His steps were slow across their front lawn, walking backwards to keep her lovely face in his sight for as long as he could. Nearly causing him to trip over the low fence that he had installed not that many weeks ago. Smiling through her tears, she waved pathetically, standing in the doorway and watching him walk to the car and out of her life.


End file.
